When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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