The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
