Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
