Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
