I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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