the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
