You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he fucked my hip out of place.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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