$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
