just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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