i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
All I want is dick and wine.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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