i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
