i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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