My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
