I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
