Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
