maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
