As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
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One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
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good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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