dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
