Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
