Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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