guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
