Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Vodka?
Forever.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I pour the whiskey from now on
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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