when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize
