that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
