Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
