there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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