I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
