I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
