I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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