he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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