No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
