I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
