he shaved USA in his pubs
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
