She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
