I'm so fucking centered right now
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
