he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
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A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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