And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize