well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
