I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
