I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
