I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
