Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
