singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
pop tarts are not kleenex
Come see our sink grown plant.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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