how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Your penis caused this!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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