Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
