Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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