on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
