So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
