i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
