Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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