So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
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