I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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