I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
