who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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