Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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