I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
