He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize