I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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