I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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