I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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