I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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