so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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