I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
