you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
