Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
