she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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