I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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